As National Suicide Prevention Month comes to a close, I wanted to share this beautiful poem with you. It was written by a teenager who herself experienced the pain of suicide. Her father took his life and she wrote this poem as an expression of grief and as a part of her healing process. I have her permission to share it in the hopes that others will understand the painful loss that occurs when a loved one takes his or her life.
What Wasn't Said
There are many words I didn't say
That I really wish I had
"I love you" and
"I'm sorry"
"It's really not that bad"
Some of it is obvious,
Just not said enough
Some shouldn't be that hard to say
It shouldn't be that tough
"I wasn't disappointed"
"Everything's okay!"
"We will get through this"
"I wish you would have stayed"
And there is some
Of course there is
That isn't really nice
"Where were you when I needed you?"
"You made US pay the price"
You broke so many promises
I passed up opportunities
I told you lies
God only knows I did
I just felt like I was broken
I wanted to be a kid
"It's fine" or "I'm not mad"
"I have nothing to say" and
"You're the best, Dad"
Every day I just want to scream
And tell you the things that
We'll never get to do
I want to tell you all the things you missed
"Max turned 2!"
"Trent is having another kid"
"Bekka is happily married"
"Anne broke up with her boyfriend"
"The kids are so big now"
"Stephan got promoted!"
I want to go back in time
And say everything I meant to
How I was angry about your relapse
But that I didn't really hate you
I forgave all the broken promises
And the mean things that were said
I wish we had gone fishing more
It's sad when I think about mom
Sleeping alone in that big bed
One day I'll be able to
Look forward to what I will say
"Stephan got married"
"I graduated today!"
"Mom retired"
"The proposal was sappy"
"I'm enjoying college" and
"I'm happy"